Updated: Oct 13
This is a conceptual illustrative idea I've been mulling over for over 20 years. It's shown up in multiple sketchbooks and I've even taken reference images at different points in my career. It started as a response to No Child Left Behind, and had an alternative title of 'No Art Teacher Left Standing (slain with my own #2 pencils)' I always found it ironic and disturbing that politically driven initiatives based on standardized testing could effectively eliminate Fine Arts programs. Additionally, many of the times those test were being given, people would come to the Art room to get pencils for the bubble sheet tests that they used. It felt like I was providing the ammunition that would eventually kill my program and purpose.
Throughout the 20 years, I've repeatedly put it on a back-burner, hesitating to start it out of multiple sources of fear. Its grown as a more encompassing idea that represents my career, and I believe other educators can relate too. As educators, we accumulate personal and career based trauma. While this piece holds many of my experiences, they are not exclusive to me. There are plans for many Easter eggs and symbolic elements.
24 years into my career, it all broke and I left education. I killed my self image as an Art teacher. I lived as a self employed artist for a year while I had 3 of my 4 kids still in school. I redefined myself, and I'm still redefining. Living that year was scary and potentially reckless, but it built confidence as an Artist that wasn't in my possession before.
The researcher in me has wanted this to be a classical composition and painting style all along. I've chosen to use a method I've studied but never carried out until now. Laying charcoal value on the canvas as a ground, following with a wash of color to set the tone, and then building paint over these to complete the painting. Designing this has been the most honest personal undertaking in my art and teaching career.